# How to describe the stillness of these waters

Ольга Слободкина

How to describe the stillness of these waters?

Floating slowly,

very slowly

in the warm light of the early evening in May

with an occasional splash of a fish

sparkling its silver fins

above the greenish mirror surface,

reflecting the trees images

growing thickly along the banks.


The first warm days of the new Spring,

the first Spring in the 21st century,

the first Spring in the new millenium,


which means

that my whole life,

all my experiences,

feelings,

emotions,

recollections

have gone down

the 20th century -

for ever.


No, they have stayed

in me and with me -

for ever.


On a day like this

you don't want to argue with anyone

in your mind,


you don't want to remember

anything nasty.


Thanks God,

there are no people around

and very few in the whole park,

so that I may forget

about the angry movements of my mind

for a while...


I'm thinking about my early teens

and about England.


Will the love of my youth come back to me?

Will the delightful scent of England

stay in my sensual memory?


The crows are croaking...


If everything should mean something

this certainly means something.


In the meanwhile

the river brings the adours of gardenia.


I'm writing this entirely for myself,

without caring about the style,

without a back thought

of ever showing this to anyone.


I find it terrific not to have an imaginary reader

always raising his ironical eyebrow

or shrugging his I-don't-care-a-straw shoulder...


I find it amusing not to talk to anyone at all in my mind,

not to share my thoughts -

who would understand them anyway?


Maybe nobody,

except my brother

or my first love

who will stay ideal

for ever and ever,


because he has lived his life

with someone else...


May 1, 2001