# Love

Ольга Слободкина

To B.D.


I'm in the Orsay Museum -

thinking about you, my heart.


If I had a cell phone

I would call you -

to give you a deep vibrating silence

meaning only one thing

I cannot pronounce -

LOVE.


I've been talking to you in my mind

for two months already -

day and night.

My notebook is running out,

but I decided

not to drop this line

until it drops off by itself.


Whatever you've got to say and haven't

will be said in your mind -

silently.


It's the same as the silence

you gave me

on the day of my call

after we talked in pronounced words.


Well, even if it was just a burst

and not love

that can last

and bring fruit...


Even if you never call me again,

never talk to me,

never think of me


I will be grateful

for this happy period of wishful love

living in my heart,


which saved me from loneliness,

from the frosts of Moscow winters...


And I will continue to warm you

with the currents of my mind -

at a distance.


You may not even notice this,

but will feel good

and cared for

and protected anyway -


that's how it works,

it's like a prayer.


Maybe,

this kind of communication is even better -

for

we'll never quarrel,

never see annoying friends,

never go to stupid parties,

never try to subdue each other.


Well,

whatever...

I'm immensely grateful

for the energy you gave me,

which continues to work in me still,


the energy of that deep vibrating silence

meaning only one thing

you couldn't pronounce -

LOVE.


April 2003,

Paris